My favorite work excuses

Here is a compiled list of my favorite work excuses. A must read for everyone needing a work excuse:

1. I went to a party on Sunday and met a girl, we've been in bed ever since. I'm getting tired now and will be at work in an hour or so .

2. Sorry Boss I can't come into work today...my spirit guide says work is for losers!

3. My dog is having puppies and I need to help her.

4. Sorry I did not show up yesterday, I locked myself in the bathroom.

5. I won't be able to come to work next week . We are trying for a baby and the doc says next week is the best chance.

6. Last night a friend I haven't seen in a long time came over and gave me a bear hug and broke one of my ribs, so I won't be in today.

7. Sorry I'm late, I had to pawn my alarm clock.

8. Don't call, don't write, don't let anyone know what's going on - take an extra week, or two. Then when you are ready to go back to work, just call up your boss and say.... " Don't pay the ransom - I escaped! "

9. I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to look at my watch!!!

10. I didn't want to be late for work again today so I called in sick instead!